Lance's blog

Burgers, Basilisks and Boys

AT is at a concert tonight with her friends. After picking you up from pre-K today, I did not have any interest in doing anything remotely like work. So we went out for dinner. Conversation was unusual as usual.

Me: Oh, I meant to tell you about that animal you were talking about this morning.

You: [quizzical]

The animal that you dreamed attacked your gymnastics class?

Oh, that one.

It’s called a “basilisk.”

[eyes widening]
Is it real?

No, it is not real.

But how do you know its name?
Have you ever seen one?

No, but you said it was like the monster in Harry Potter.

Yeah. It was a really big snake, and it was poisonous.

According to legend, the basilisk is a large lizard or snake who can kill with a glance.

The basilisk in my dream could turn people into stone when it looked at them!

That’s why I’m pretty sure it was a basilisk.

But it’s not real?

Definitely not real.

But poison ivy? Is poison ivy real?

Poison ivy is real.

[Note that this is the only time poison ivy has come up in conversation in like, months. And it did not come up again after this tonight. We were sitting at a bar that looked out the restaurant windows to the street. Later….]

You: He looks good. Daddy, that guy looks good.

Me: Sorry, what?

That boy looks good to me. Oh! He’s coming in here! [You watch a guy walk through the door. He is in his mid-20s, in jeans, a gray long-sleeved shirt and a black down vest. He’s sufficiently well-groomed that I would hazard to guess that he is gay or from the northeast.]

[speechless]

Isn’t he handsome?

Uh-huh.

About Jean's Diary

I recently got a typed copy of a diary started by Jean Patterson in the final days of 1901. The diary spans about a year. I found it interesting reading, and I thought I’d post it here for posterity.

Jean was 13 years old and living in Gateswood, Alabama when the diary begins. During 1902, her family moved to Muscogee, Florida. The diary contains references to books, parlor entertainments and music. To the extent I am able to learn anything about these sources, I’ll be posting that information here as well. I have started posting chapters from “When Knighthood Was in Flower,” a book Jean finished reading on January 1, 1902. I will also post the little I’ve found on Gateswood and Muscogee. The former appears as a place name on Google Maps, but street view suggests that there isn’t much there any longer. And Wikipedia leads off its discussion of Muscogee by calling it a ghost town.

Jean was my great grandmother, by the way — my father’s paternal grandmother. She went on to marry Guyte P. McCord in 1912 (although it sounds from the diary like 13-year-old Jean may have been crushing on some guy named Sheldon). This is Jean in 1950, seated on the couch next to the Governor of Florida. That’s Guyte in the chair.

Jean Patterson in 1950

Superman, as Batman Planned

Sg,

Yesterday, you asked me who would win a fight between Batman and Superman. Thanks to that cantankerous coot Frank Miller, I was ready not only with an answer, but the story to back it up. A few days before that, you were surprised to learn that Batman does not have super powers. So I think you were pretty impressed to learn that he was able to hold his own against Superman for several minutes.

Superman vs Batman from Frank Miller The Dark Knight Falls

Interestingly (or not, frankly), this is not the first time Miller’s TDKR has appeared on this site.

New Years' Day, 1902

Jean Patterson’s Diary
January 1, 1902, Gateswood, Alabama
[ what’s this? ]

Jan. 1, 1902 — Wednesday

The first day of the New Year dawned, sunshiny bright and beautiful. I had to go to school and stood an examination on History of the U.S. Bessie and I both got 100 on it. We stood it in the morning and in the afternoon had our regular lessons — Roman History, Civics and Spelling. After school we came home and I read and finished “When Knighthood Was in Flower.” I liked it very much. That morning when the train came I received two letters — one from Cousin Ella and the other from Miss Lilla. I also got a bottle of perfume from Sheldon Brinson as a New Year present. That night Bessie, Miss Susan and I sat up and watched the old year out and the new year in. We went to bed tho at exactly twelve.

When Knighthood Was in Flower - Contents

When Knighthood Was in Flower
or, the Love Story of Charles Brandon and Mary Tudor the King’s Sister,
and Happening in the Reign of His August Majesty King Henry the Eighth

Rewritten and Rendered into Modern English from
Sir Edwin Caskoden’s Memoir by Edwin Caskoden [Charles Major]

Copyright 1898 and 1901 by the Bowen-Merril Company, Indianapolis, U.S.A.

CONTENTS

Prologue: The Caskodens

Chapter I: The Duel

Chapter II: How Brandon Came to Court

Chapter III: The Princess Mary

Chapter IV: A Lesson in Dancing

Chapter V: An Honor and an Enemy

Chapter VI: A Rare Ride to Windsor

Chapter VII: Love’s Fierce Sweetness

Chapter VIII: The Trouble in Billingsgate Ward

Chapter IX: Put Not Your Trust in Princesses

Chapter X: Justice, O King!

Chapter XI: Louis XII a Suitor

Chapter XII: Atonement

Chapter XIII: A Girl’s Consent

Chapter XIV: In the Siren Country

Chapter XV: To Make a Man of Her

Chapter XVI: A Hawking Party

Chapter XVII: The Elopement

Chapter XVIII: To the Tower

Chapter XIX: Proserpina

Chapter XX: Down into France

Chapter XXI: Letters from a Queen

Some Disney Photos

When Knighthood Was in Flower - Chapter II

When Knighthood Was in Flower
or, the Love Story of Charles Brandon and Mary Tudor the King’s Sister,
and Happening in the Reign of His August Majesty King Henry the Eighth

Rewritten and Rendered into Modern English from
Sir Edwin Caskoden’s Memoir by Edwin Caskoden [Charles Major]

Copyright 1898 and 1901 by the Bowen-Merril Company, Indianapolis, U.S.A.

Contents

Chapter II: How Brandon Came to Court

When we learned that Brandon was coming to court, every one believed he would soon gain the king’s favor. How much that would amount to none could tell, as the king’s favorites were of many sorts and taken from all conditions of men. There was Master Wolsey, a butcher’s son, whom he had first made almoner, then chief counselor and Bishop of Lincoln, soon to be Bishop of York, and Cardinal of the Holy Roman Church.

From the other extreme of life came young Thomas, Lord Howard, heir to the Earl of Surrey, and my Lord of Buckingham, premier peer of the realm. Then sometimes would the king take a yeoman of the guard and make him his companion in jousts and tournaments, solely because of his brawn and bone. There were others whom he kept close by him in the palace because of their wit and the entertainment they furnished; of which class was I, and, I flatter myself, no mean member.

To begin with, being in no way dependent on the king for money, I never drew a farthing from the royal treasury. This, you may be sure, did me no harm, for although the king sometimesdelighted to give, he always hated to pay. There were other good reasons, too, why I should be a favorite with the king. Without meaning to be vain, I think I may presume to say, with perfect truth, that my conversation and manners were far more pleasing and polished than were usual at that day in England, for I made it a point to spend several weeks each year in the noble French capital, the home and center of good-breeding and politeness.

My appointment as Master of the Dance, I am sure, was owing entirely to my manner. My brother, the baron, who stood high with the king, was not friendly toward me because my father had seen fit to bequeath me so good a competency in place of giving it all to the first-born and leaving me dependent upon the tender mercies of an elder brother. So I had no help from him nor from any one else. I was quite small of stature and, therefore, unable to compete, with lance and mace, with bulkier men; but I would bet with any man, of any size, on any game, at any place and time, in any amount; and, if I do say it, who perhaps should not, I basked in the light of many a fair smile which larger men had sighed for in vain.

I did not know when Brandon first came to London. We had all remained at Greenwich while the king went up to Westminster to waste his time with matters of state and quarrel with the Parliament, then sitting, over the amount of certain subsidies.

Mary, the king’s sister, then some eighteen or nineteen years of age, a perfect bud, just blossoming into a perfect flower, had gone over to Windsor on a visit to her elder sister, Margaret of Scotland, and the palace was dull enough. Brandon, it seems, had been presented to Henry during this time, at Westminster, and had, to some extent at least, become a favorite before I met him. The first time I saw him was at a joust given by the king at Westminster, in celebration of the fact that he had coaxed a good round subsidy out of Parliament.

The queen and her ladies had been invited over, and it was known that Mary would be down from Windsor and come home with the king and the court to Greenwich when we should return. So we all went over to Westminster the night before the jousts, and were up bright and early next morning to see all that was to be seen.


[Here the editor sees fit to substitute a description of this tournament taken from the quaint old chronicler, Hall.]

The morow beyng after dynner, at tyme conuenenient, the Quene with her Ladyes repaired to see the Iustes, the trompettes blewe vp, and in came many a noble man and Gentleman, rychely appeareiled, takynge vp thir horses, after whome folowed certayne lordes appareiled, they and thir horses, in cloth of Golde and russet and tynsell; Knyghtes in cloth of Golde, and russet Veluet. And a greate nomber of Gentlemen on fote, in russet satyn and yealow, and yomen in russet Damaske and yealow, all the nether parte of euery mans hosen Skarlet, and yealow cappes.

Then came the kynge vnder a Pauilion of golde, and purpul Veluet embroudered, the compass of the Pauilion about, and valenced with a flat, gold beaten in wyre, with an Imperiall croune in the top, of fyne Golde, his bases and trapper of cloth of Golde, fretted with Damask Golde, the trapper pedant to the tail. A crane and chafron of stele, in the front of the chafro was a goodly plume set full of musers or trimbling spangles of golde. After folowed his three aydes, euery of them vnder a Pauilion of Crymosyn Damaske & purple. The nomber of Gentlemen and yomen a fote, appareiled in russet and yealow was clxviii. Then next these Pauilions came xii chyldren of honor, sitting euery one of them on a greate courser, rychely trapped, and embroudered in seuerall deuises and facions, where lacked neither brouderie nor goldsmythes work, so that euery chyld and horse in deuice and fascion was contrary to the other, which was goodly to beholde.

Then on the counter parte, entered a Straunger, fyrst on horsebacke in a long robe of Russet satyne, like a recluse or a religious, and his horse trapped in the same sewte, without dromme or noyse of mynstrelsye, puttinge a byll of peticion to the Quene, the effect whereof was, that if it would please her to license hym to runne in her presence, he would do it gladly, and if not, then he would departe as he came. After his request was graunted, then he put off hys sayd habyte and was armed at all peces with ryche bases & horse, also rychely trapped, and so did runne his horse to the tylte end, where dieurs men on fote appareiled in Russet satyn awaited on him. Thereupon the Heraulds cryed an Oyez! and the grownd shoke with the trompe of rushynge stedes. Wonder it were to write of the dedes of Armes which that day toke place, where a man might haue seen many a horse raysed on highe with galop, turne and stoppe, maruaylous to behold. C.xiv staves were broke and the kynge being lusty, he and the straunger toke the prices.


When the queen had given the stranger permission to run, and as he moved away, there was a great clapping of hands and waving of trophies among the ladies, for he was of such noble mien and comely face as to attract the gaze of every one away from even the glittering person of his majesty the king.

His hair, worn in its natural length, fell in brown curls back from his forehead almost to the shoulder, a style just then new, even in France. His eyes were a deep blue, and his complexion, though browned by exposure, held a tinge of beauty which the sun could not mar and a girl might envy. He wore neither mustachio nor beard, as men now disfigure their faces—since Francis I took a scar on his chin—and his clear cut profile, dilating nostrils and mobile, though firm-set mouth, gave pleasing assurance of tenderness, gentleness, daring and strength.

I was standing near the queen, who called to me: “Who is the handsome stranger that so gracefully asked our license to run?”

I can not inform your majesty. I never saw him until now. He is the goodliest knight I have ever beheld.”

That he is,” replied the queen; “and we should like very much to know him. Should we not, ladies?” There was a chorus of assent from a dozen voices, and I promised, after the running, to learn all about him and report.

It was at this point the heralds cried their “Oyes,” and our conversation was at an end for the time.

As to height, the stranger was full six feet, with ample evidence of muscle, though no great bulk. He was grace itself, and the king afterwards said he had never seen such strength of arm and skill in the use of the lance—a sure harbinger of favor, if not of fortune, for the possessor.

After the jousting the Princess Mary asked me if I could yet give her an account of the stranger; and as I could not, she went to the king.

I heard her inquire:

Who was your companion, brother?”

That is a secret, sister. You will find out soon enough, and will be falling in love with him, no doubt. I have always looked upon you as full of trouble for me in that respect; you will not so much as glance at anyone I choose for you, but I suppose would be ready enough with your smiles for some one I should not want.”

Is the stranger one whom you would not want?” asked Mary, with a dimpling smile and a flash of her brown eyes.

He most certainly is,” returned the king.

Then I will fall in love with him at once. In fact, I don’t know but I have already.”

Oh, I have no doubt of that; if I wanted him, he might be Apollo himself and you would have none of him.” King Henry had been compelled to refuse several very advantageous alliances because this fair, coaxing, self-willed sister would not consent to be a part of the moving consideration.

But can you not tell me who he is, and what his degree?” went on Mary in a bantering tone.

He has no degree; he is a plain, untitled soldier, not even a knight; that is, not an English knight. I think he has a German or Spanish order of some sort.”

Not a duke; not an earl; not even a baron or knight? Now he has become interesting.”

Yes, I suppose so; but don’t bother me.”

Will he be at the dance and banquet to-night?”

No! No! Now I must go; don’t bother me, I say.” And the king moved away.

That night we had a grand banquet and dance at Westminster, and the next day we all, excepting Lady Mary, went back to Greenwich by boat, paying a farthing a head for our fare. This was just after the law fixing the boat fare, and the watermen were a quarreling lot, you may be sure. One farthing from Westminster to Greenwich! Eight miles. No wonder they were angry.

The next day I went back to London on an errand, and over to Wolsey’s house to borrow a book. While there Master Cavendish, Wolsey’s secretary, presented me to the handsome stranger, and he proved to be no other than Charles Brandon, who had fought the terrible duel down in Suffolk. I could hardly believe that so mild-mannered and boyish a person could have taken the leading part in such a tragedy. But with all his gentleness there was an underlying dash of cool daring which intimated plainly enough that he was not all mildness.

We became friends at once, drawn together by that subtle human quality which makes one nature fit into another, resulting in friendship between men, and love between men and women. We soon found that we had many tastes in common, chief among which was the strongest of all congenial bonds, the love of books. In fact we had come to know each other through our common love of reading, for he also had gone to Master Cavendish, who had a fine library, to borrow some volumes to take with him down to Greenwich.

Brandon informed me he was to go to Greenwich that day, so we determined to see a little of London, which was new to him, and then take boat in time to be at the palace before dark.

That evening, upon arriving at Greenwich, we hunted up Brandon’s uncle, the Master of Horse, who invited his nephew to stay with him for the night. He refused, however, and accepted an invitation to take a bed in my room.

The next day Brandon was installed as one of the captains of the king’s guard, under his uncle, but with no particular duties, except such as should be assigned him from time to time. He was offered a good room on one of the lower floors, but asked, instead, to be lodged in the attic next to me. So we arranged that each had a room opening into a third that served us alike for drawing-room and armory.

Here we sat and talked, and now and then one would read aloud some favorite passage, while the other kept his own place with finger between the leaves. Here we discussed everything from court scandal to religion, and settled to our own satisfaction, at least, many a great problem with which the foolish world is still wrestling.

We told each other all our secrets, too, for all the world like a pair of girls. Although Brandon had seen so much of life, having fought on the continent ever since he was a boy, and for all he was so much a man of the world, yet had he as fresh and boyish a heart as if he had just come from the clover fields and daisies. He seemed almost diffident, but I soon learned that his manner was but the cool gentleness of strength.

Of what use, let me ask, is a friend unless you can unload your heart upon him? It matters not whether the load be joy or sorrow; if the former, the need is all the greater, for joy has an expansive power, as some persons say steam has, and must escape from the heart upon some one else.

So Brandon told me of his hopes and aspirations, chief among which was his desire to earn, and save, enough money to pay the debt against his father’s estate, which he had turned over to his younger brother and sisters. He, as the eldest, could have taken it all, for his father had died without a will, but he said there was not enough to divide, so he had given it to them and hoped to leave it clear of debt; then for New Spain, glory and fortune, conquest and yellow gold. He had read of the voyages of the great Columbus, the Cabots, and a host of others, and the future was as rosy as a Cornish girl’s cheek. Fortune held up her lips to him, but—there’s often a sting in a kiss.

Christmas Day, 1901

Jean Patterson’s Diary
January 1, 1902, Gateswood, Alabama
[ what’s this? ]

Wednesday – Xmas Day

The children got up long before daylight and came in our room for that was where Santa Claus came. They were highly delighted over their presents. Mother gave me a little brooch. Father a book – “Alice of Old Vincennes,” Bessie a fascinator, Miss Susan a doiley, Bertie a handkerchief, Sheldon Brinson a bottle of rose perfume, Mr. McCallum a game – “Lucky Seven,” and Massillon Harrison a lovely fan. We spent the day very quietly as there were no amusements. That night we had a parade. Miss Susan got a tin bucket and beat on it. I had a tamboreen, Bessie a drum, Susie Nell a horn, John H. a U. S. flag. We went first and after him came Lilla and Bertie with torches. Thus we went up the road, past Mrs. Fleming’s making all the noise that was possible. We came back by her house and all of them came back home with us. We played games until quite late and then went to bed. We had all had a very Merry Xmas.

Christmas Eve, 1901

Jean Patterson’s Diary
January 1, 1902, Gateswood, Alabama
[ what’s this? ]

Tuesday – Xmas Eve

Today is Xmas eve and how busy I shall be (have been). No more school for a week. We had an Xmas tree tonight. Our tree came this morning and Miss Susan, Bessie, Susie Nell and I settled at once to work on it. We made long strings of gaily colored papers and threw across it. Also little silver colored balls were put at the top. Father gave us a good many strings of different colored candy, and those we hung on the tree. We then tied the candles on. We intended having strung cranberries but as our tree was holly and covered with red berries we did not need them. Fireworks were put around the trunk of the tree and some were put in the tree. After we had finished decorating the tree we rehearsed our recital that was to be before the tree. Then we hung all the presents on. By this time it was dark, so we went home. We ate supper and then dressed.

The recital was to begin at eight so by the time we were all dressed and had dressed the little ones it was time to begin. Mother was ill at the time and could not go. No one was there but Mrs. Fleming’s family and Mrs. Malone’s. The first on the program was an Xmas carol by Miss Susan, Bessie, Susie Nell, Bertie and myself. Next was recitation by Lilla. Next was a piano solo by Bessie. Then a recitation by me – “The Clown’s Baby.” Then a duet by Bessie and I. Next a recitation by Bertie. Then a panomine – “My Faith Looks Up to Thee” – by Bertie and Susie Nell. Then a recitation by Susie Nell and last a song by Bertie, Lilla and Susie Nell. After this was over Father went to the tree to distribute the presents. It did not take long to do this. Each child got a cornucopia full of candy and other presents. Then we went out in the yard and shot off fireworks and they were very pretty. After this we danced awhile. Miss Susan and I cake-walked and Miss Lewis played. After that it was real late so we came home and went to bed.

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